Fun Fact No. 1: Everyone is scared of something.
We don’t like to talk about it. It makes us nervous. it makes us tense. we break out into a cold sweat when we think about it.
I can be honest.
I am terrified of the unknown. I am terrified of, “what if?” and possibilities.
I hate possibilities.
I live for clear and concise facts. I crave them like water. they make me happy.
But we cannot always live in our happy place. I have to break out of it and move into the unknown.
And I am freaking out.
Here’s what I know:
- I hate my employer. Not in a passionate way but at least once a week I am late to the office because I can’t bring myself to get in the car and drive to the building. I give myself a morning pep talk prayer the minute I sit in my chair every single day begging God to let me find the good in my job, in the fact that I have a job and I can pay my bills. But it’s hard. It’s really hard. There’s so many good things that I used to see at my employer that I no longer see. And it’s no longer where I want to be.
- I don’t want to work for anyone else. I don’t like being at the mercy of someone else’s whims whether they are a large corporation or a mom-and-pop. Companies are not kind. People can be but they can change and become unkind. i don’t want to depend on someone else and their moods and worry that on a bad day or month or year i could be fired and then have to start all over. and end up in the same exact situation.
- I want to be in control. I am a control freak and I don’t try to hide it. I like things the way I like them. and i want more control of my life. I want more autonomy. Period.
And that brings us to today. Day 1 of 365 to create an independent life. 365 days to freelance warrior. 365 days to freedom.
Its scary to see that in writing. To be honest my heart just sped up a lot. but it’s a promise I made to myself and my God. 365 days to find a way to move from the corporate world to the freelance world so that I can serve my God more fully and live the life I think I am supposed to live.
Things I also know
- I know it won’t be easy. I have so much to learn about running my own business. Billing. Taxes. Where to find work. Making sure I get paid. Networking. I have a list of things I think I need to learn about and I know that list will grow as my year continues. But I’m ready to learn.
- I need to learn. Of course, like every freelancer i have something i think the world needs. i am a writer and, as of today, a blogger. i also can create a website from scratch (NOT THIS ONE) but i need to know more. i need to do more. yeah, its great that i can setup a basic website but if i’m going to sustain myself i need to do more.
- I just cannot keep doing this. We all have reasons that we get up every morning. Some are super noble. They want to save the world, the elephants and plant 50 trees by noon. Others, and this where I am, just want to live and enjoy our lives. I slave 40+ hours a week for a company that I do not like. My job is boring. It is challenging but every day is very much the same, every week is the same. I am bored. Plus, and this is the most important part, it takes me away from the things I enjoy the most. I want to be able to serve God and participate in a global ministry but my work schedule completely interferes with that. I am spending time and energy in a way that leaves me demoralized and bored when I could readjust my life and fully participate in activities that re-energize me and fuel me.
So now that I know what I want to do the question is… how do I do that?
How do I become a freelance writer/coder/do whatever it takes to get myself out of a 9-5?
That’s why we are here. I have 365 days to figure out how to become a financially profitable freelance writer and programmer. I have 52 weeks to figure out how to best utilize my skills. I have 12 months to fine tune them, market them, make new contacts, capitalize on the contacts I do have, learn everything I need to run my business successfully and then DO IT.
That sounds so scary.
There’s a comfort to knowing that I will have a paycheck every week, even if my work sucks, or I’m a miserable wretch and rude to a client I will get a paycheck. And I have health insurance. (Yay! Health insurance!)
But those things, while necessary, don’t make me happy. they don’t give me purpose or drive. they don’t refresh.
And i’m ready to be refreshed.
I am ready to work for myself.
And if I’m not ready… we’ll find out in 365 days.