Beyond Beef [Food Review]
Being gluten free and vegan can super suck sometimes. Accidental poisonings seem to happen anytime I go out to eat. That wouldn’t be so bad if the poisonings resulted in a little gassiness but the devastating depression is too much. I, sometimes, get to the point where I want to be sent inpatient because of the depression and then the gluten calms down, I have a rational thought, and can deal with basic life again.
While I am not allergic to meat I choose not to eat it. It just doesn’t agree with me. But every once in a while I want to lick a burger. Or chew it and spit out. And I do. And then I slip and swallow. And my body loses it. Headaches. Tummy troubles.
It gets real fast.
But I want to eat a burger. It’s still summer (barely). It’s what I want. And I have tried a jillion (huge exaggeration but it feels really close) burgers and NOT ONE has tasted the way I need them to.
None of them were burger bun worthy.
Or meatball sub worthy.
And I have been craving a meatball sub.
Then someone mentioned Beyond Meat. Not so much mentioned, but gripped my hand tightly and told me about eating a burger. It was a scary and intense moment in the middle of the Whole Foods imitation meat and dairy case. When I finally wriggled free I was intrigued.
And quickly annoyed.
Where do I find the darn stuff?
Not at my closest Whole Foods. Or ShopRite. Or Stop and Shop. Amazon wants you to buy a case (um, I live in an apartment Amazon. That’s not happening.) But on a completely unnecessary visit to my fathers house I stopped at the local natural food store and found….
BEYOND BEEF MEATBALLS
I bought the entire supply.
And didn’t regret it.
First off I made a meatball sandwich. Sauteed meatballs until done, rolled them in homemade sauce with the ate it open faced on rye bread.
BEST MOMENT OF THE WEEK!
Then I made spaghetti and meatballs and proceeded to eat right from the pot.
Beyond Beef meatballs are glorious. They don’t taste 100% like meat but they come darn close. But they chew like meat. And they don’t have weird grains and whatnot that shows up to remind you that what you’re chewing isn’t meat.
TIP: DO NOT MICROWAVE MEATBALLS. the package said not to but I’m hardheaded and did it anyway… BIG MISTAKE. Heat them on the stove like suggested. You won’t regret it.
I’m working on another purchase now. And still stalking Whole Foods. My mission is to get my local WF to carry the entire line so I can just drive to one store.
What’s in Beyond Meat “Beyond Beef Meatballs”?
Ingredients/:Water, Pea Protein Isolate, Expeller‑Pressed Canola Oil (Non‑GMO Identity Preserved), Palm Oil (Contributes to Production of Certified Sustainable Palm Oil), Carrageenan, Yeast Extract, Calcium Sulfate, Methylcellulose, Garlic Powder, Maltodextrin, Potassium Bicarbonate, Spices, Potassium Chloride, Sorbitol, Onion Powder, Tomato Powder, Caramel Color (Ammonium and Sulfite Free), Tapioca Starch, Salt, Natural Flavoring, Sunflower Oil, Sugar (Evaporated Cane Juice).